Intro to Lice 101

Wrote this back in October of 2009; my DD was in 1st Grade - Thought it deserved to be Posted:

WARNING – GRAPHIC LANGUAGE 

 

– NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART OR EASILY GROSSED OUT-

 

The phrase "nit picking" will forever hold a different meaning for us.  I believe that it should be feared and revered and only said with a certain pause for reflection and gratitude for the sacrifices made, but NEVER a derogatory term.

I know FB isn’t a blog, but get ready for the story. I need to write for therapy; I am tired of cleaning and I feel like I owe it to the world because no one should make the same mistakes that I did. Here are the Red Flags that I missed (please don’t hold them against me; you have NO IDEA how terrible I feel).

1. Multiple lice letters came home from school and many of our friends had confirmed cases (although not in my Dear Daughter’s class).
2. The kids said that their heads itched (I thought it was colder and dryer with the furnace being on)
3. White flakes on my DD’s head (I thought it was dandruff or her cradle cap)

So yesterday I was helping in my DD’s class and asked her teacher if I could take her down to the nurse really quickly so that I could understand what lice looks like. You know, be "pro-active".  The sweet nurse, showed me that the lice eggs were these little (smaller than a grain of sand) white spots that are stuck to the hair shaft about a ½” from the scalp. My DD had a bunch. I asked her to check me and she found one right away. I took my DS out of class and walked to a Dear Friend’s house to gain supplies…

I opened a bottle of wine, and put Lice B Gone (a natural alternative) on all of us; because my DD is so sensitive, I didn’t want to use the pesticides if I didn’t have to and word on the street is that pesticides are really dangerous and don’t have a great success rate because Middle-class Suburbia has bred a super-bug. Apparently, the lice basically just give you the finger as they brush off the pesticides and drink them to get a really sweet buzz.

Another Dear Friend came over to help me know what to do and how to pull these little nits out. We started going through my DD’s hair and got at least 30 adult bugs, TONS of babies and 100’s of nits (I know, so gross). I did my Dear Son later and only had 1 adult, 2 babies and a bunch of nits. I only had 1 adult and a couple of nits, although my numbers could be off b/c my DH did mine and although he is cute, smart and funny – he is NOT a lice master. My DH is totally clean (damn him). I did my DD’s hair for hours and felt like I did an unbelievably good job.

We didn’t have Cetaphil in the house, so I then did the olive oil thing (I had a huge jug from Costco and figured what the hell, we aren’t leaving the house anyway). I left it in our hair in a plastic bag for an hour or 2 (or 4 because I couldn’t get to mine). When I combed through it layer by ****ing layer, the lice and nits just came right out on the little metal comb. It was CRAZY. They really just kept slipping off the strands of hair and onto the metal comb. I couldn’t believe how many more there were (believe it or not, I didn’t take a picture).

I washed our hair with dish soap to cut the oil and then shampoo; it was really late by this point and everyone fell soundly asleep onto clean sheets – except me… I am so weirded out by the bug thing that every time I closed my eyes, I could only see these awful little bugs (that look exactly like fruit flies with no wings). I feel so violated. I take pride in my clean house and I feel like the Creepy Halloween Theme has been taken a couple of steps too far.

So it turns out (I am mortified to say it), My DD must have had lice for at least 2 weeks. She had 3 generations of them living on her head. For those of you doing the math, it ended up to be about the same time as the big trip to the local Theater.

PLEASE check your kids or have someone who knows how check them. I feel so bad that I helped spread this by my own ignorance. When I clear this up, I swear myself to the lice education of everyone – I will come over to help ANYONE detect and pull out lice.

A group of us think that we all deserve a t-shirt saying that we survived this…"The Everest of Motherhood". Who am I kidding? I need an all-inclusive in Mexico or at LEAST a spa day.

and yes – I am pretty sure that I would honestly pick swine flu…

READ MY HOW TO CHECK FOR LICE BLOG!

25 Things About Me

Wrote this Back in 2009 but Re-read it recently and thought it was fun..

1.  Writing this list is not terribly unfamiliar to me because I write meticulously thorough lists for everything. Usually my list starts with a task labeled “Create List”.

2.  If I could sell my car and walk or ride my bike everywhere, I would totally do it; I would even give up my driver’s license. The kids and DH think that is crazy (and border-line unsafe), hence we have 2 cars. Although, I still rarely ever drive unless I have to.

3.  In the middle of the night (usually around 2am) I get up to eat a spoonful of peanut butter – every night, even on vacation. Sometimes more than once.

4. I don’t like staying up late, even during college. I have gotten a bit better since having kids but I am still usually in bed before 9pm.

5. I love to travel, especially on trains. We have taken a train to/from Washington State twice and a train to/from New Orleans once. I can’t wait to take trains across Europe.

6. Everyday while I make dinner I drink some kind of alcohol (lately a glass of red wine); it is my transition from crazy day mode to relaxed evening mode – it gets kind of tricky if I am making something in the crock pot and start making dinner at 10am.

7. I listen to music (a really eclectic variety) all the time. It makes me happy.

8. The Twilight Series was totally addicting (I recognize that it is crazy). I couldn’t put it down for the entire Christmas Break. I realize that I may be partial to the name, but I totally would have picked Jacob.

9. This is the first year that I have voted for someone that I believed in rather “the lesser of the evils”

10. I am a terrible facebook friend. I never seem to make time to update. I think of these people that I really miss but hardly ever can find the time to really reconnect. Maybe someday.

11. The window in the bedroom is open almost all year (unless it is under 15 or above 90 outside). As soon as it is 50, I open all the doors in the house. I love fresh air. I also almost always have a candle burning.

12. One time in college on our way to spring break in Florida, we drove so fast that we left Chicago and made it to Florida in 17 hours. If I remember right, we survived on Dr. Pepper and Pringles.

13. My memory is terrible. I write down everything and then promptly forget it. Since my system is so organized and works so well, I usually appear way more on the ball than I am. When that fateful time comes, I will be the most highly functioning person with Alzheimer’s ever.

14. My family moved 8 times before I went to college. I moved 4 times during college and 7 times since college. So in my 34 years of life, I have lived in 19 different places, but only 2 counties (you read that right COUNTIES not countries)

15. I love to take pictures; I took 4,278 in 2008 (that averages 11.7 pictures a day) but am yet to actually make a scrapbook.

16. Writing a weekly column would be my dream job (I think). I used to co-write a column in college and loved it.

17. We buy almost nothing new. We try to use hand-me-downs or buy things on Craigslist.

18. I get strep throat really easily and really severely but my kids and DH have never had it. I honestly think that I am living with 3 carriers.

19. Most of my life is spent in comfy pants; at one point my mom actually had to ask me to wear something beside flannel pants when attending our family Christmas party. It hasn’t gotten much better, if ever you stop by, I am sure to be in comfy pants.

20. My favorite flavors are peach and mango. I also like almond but not mixed with peach/mango.

21. I rarely judge people. I honestly never care what someone is doing or the choices that they make as long as it isn’t hurting someone else.

22. My personal integrity is really strong. I am rarely dishonest unless I really must. I find it hard to be dishonest about big things because of the natural consequences of being caught. I can’t be dishonest about little things because I figure, why waste my integrity on something tiny.

23. I am totally in love with my husband, not in a co-dependant way but almost like a fairy tale. Thanks to Hollywood and main-stream media, I find myself worried that no couple this happy can possibly last. One of us will have to die tragically young (I know this one is pathetic).

24. By nature, I am not spontaneous or adventurous. I love to be around people who are but if I am in charge, I end up planning every detail and leave almost nothing to chance.

25. Although it seems to be in direct contrast to #24, I enjoy it when people just stop by. I think because I over-plan so much, it is nice and relaxed when something is just spur of the moment. It is one of my favorite parts of summer in Suburbia. People often stop by when they are out for a walk or riding their bikes (just keep in mind #19 if/when you stop by).