Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Stress Free X-mas Secret

Don't expect anything too deep and meaningful... 

It is with extreme trepidation that I post this blog, I may even retract it after further consideration.  My reasons are two-fold; Partly, I fear my secret will become so main-stream as to be henceforth irrelevant* and partly because it arguably involves a bit of racial profiling, something I almost always strongly oppose.

How do I avoid the stressful craziness of 
Christmas Shopping?

and obviously, online shopping.  I order everything that I can from my house.  Amazon Prime gives free 2-day shipping, there is often no tax, it is usually a very fair price (if not a good deal), and it is delivered right to my door in a discreet box.  Etsy has a million creative, beautiful, handcrafted options. There is nothing easier and more stress-free than shopping online in the comfort of my nice warm house and with a glass of wine in hand.

Secondly, there are always things that I need to browse to find.  I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for but I will know when I see it.  I'm not big on crowds and the malls right now are insanity.  Outdoor malls are always slightly less crowded, but being that it is December in Middle America, I don't really want to be going back and forth between blazing hot stores and freezing cold outdoors all while lumbering around in my huge winter coat and carrying packages.   My secret: I take a little extra drive (in our case north) to a community that does not traditionally celebrate Christmas.  There are others, but my community of choice is one where even the public schools are off for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.  

The malls of these Chosen People are LOVELY. 
  • There is plenty of parking.  I mean, it isn't a ghost town, but I'm able obtain a space moderately close to any door without otherwise sane people pulling a weapon on me or cursing me with an evil eye.
  • I'm able to easily and freely peruse.  No bumping and pushing while looking at a rack.  There are no crazy lines; At prime-time, Saturday late afternoon, there wasn't even a line at Toys R Us!
  • One does not need to hear, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," which is quite possibly the most annoying Christmas song ever (in close running with "Santa Baby").  I like Christmas music, but when it is on full blast, on repeat, it tends to make me crazy.  I'd rather just hum my own sound-track in my head as I shop (usually "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" followed by some Bing and Frank -- and if I remember right, Bing would fit right in).
  • Blue & Silver are much more soothing than Red & Green.
  • In the past, I don't remember there even being a Santa, but this year, there was, and there were only 3 well behaved children in line.
Mark my words, the closest mall is not always the most efficient way to shop.

*For this year's Thanksgiving craft, we used recycled socks and a great idea from Pinterest / Then She Made (Blog).  Everyone had a great time (all 18 of us, ranging in ages from 2 - 83, boys and girls alike, although a couple of party-poopers chose to watch football instead). All the snowmen turned out so different and kind of showed the personality of their creator.  It was fun, easy, and took no sewing.  Thanks to the fact that I have hundreds of socks missing a partner / soul-mate / better half, the whole project was from stuff around the house and cost only $5 to buy a big bag of rice from Costco.
(and I'll be bringing rice pudding to the next 3 events).

**I hope my sarcasm comes through even in writing. I really don't envision that I am so widely read as to create a mass Exodus to this Promise Land of alternate malls.
(I couldn't help myself from just a couple more puns)


  1. I'm totally with you - online shopping is the way to go. I positively hate shopping and anytime that I can shop from the comfort of my home, with chosen drink in hand, and not have to deal with the (mostly rude) mass of shoppers in public - halleluiah! We did probably 90% of our shopping online this year. And the only reason the other 10% wasn't done online was because I ran out of time and was afraid I wouldn't receive it on time - but that was procrastination on my part.

    So what did you use for the noses on the snowmen?

  2. Thanks Laura! The noses were the trickiest part! I personally love polymer clay. I have a ton of it in the house so we just rolled a couple of orange "carrot" noses for anyone who wanted one and baked them up. With all of those snowmen we didn't even use a whole package of orange ($3 at Micheal's) and they only take 30 minutes to bake.