When I was out visiting my Mom, she decided that it was time to join Facebook (basically so she could have a pinterest account). I took a deep breath, poured a glass of boxed wine, and began to explain how to be a member of Facebook-- and not have it drive you crazy (or offend your old "friends"). I've told the story since, and quite a few people have poured themselves a glass of wine and leaned closer... apparently, MANY MANY people are driven nuts by Facebook and rather than fixing the problem, they avoid the medium entirely. Here is what I told my mom:
ONE - Don't worry too much about who you accept friend requests from. You can always adjust settings later. People will find you that you barely remember, don't over-think this. You aren't compiling a list of your very best friends. Consider it a blessing that they want to keep in touch. As a general rule, avoid "befriending" people who have not uploaded a personal picture. The silhouette is creepy and not a good sign. If you really don't want to catch up with anyone but you just want a pinterest account, best you don't use your real name or your normal email address. That said, it isn't as bad as you think it will be. If you don't want seek out old friends from high school, don't put in that information.
ONE-POINT-ONE -- Facebook only wastes as much time as you let it. This isn't another thing that you must check everyday and stay on top of like email. This is something do do at leisure, like rather than looking through a magazine or watching a TV show (it is basically your own personal non-celebrity version of US Weekly). Nobody expects people to read everything posted on Facebook. It is just a fun / easy way to keep in touch on a very surface level. Make sure to set all FB Email Notifications to None so you don't get bombarded and then frustrated
ONE-POINT-ONE -- Facebook only wastes as much time as you let it. This isn't another thing that you must check everyday and stay on top of like email. This is something do do at leisure, like rather than looking through a magazine or watching a TV show (it is basically your own personal non-celebrity version of US Weekly). Nobody expects people to read everything posted on Facebook. It is just a fun / easy way to keep in touch on a very surface level. Make sure to set all FB Email Notifications to None so you don't get bombarded and then frustrated
TWO - Some people will begin to drive you nuts on Facebook. I obviously don't know this by personal experience. All of my "friends" have an unlimited wealth of interesting knowledge. I can't wait to hear what all 394 of them have to say on a moment by moment basis. I want to know exactly where they eat and when the go to sleep and how long they were on the elliptical and what they bought on groupon! If unlike me, you have a couple of friends who tend to over post, here is how you fix it; next to the person's name, in your news-feed, is a little arrow. If you click on the arrow, it will show a drop down menu with options:
- Most Updates - the default
- Only Important - If you would like to only know if your friend just had a baby but not the blow by blow on how every kick has felt... Basically, anything that gets 45 likes (that is a totally random number)
- All Updates - If on the other end, your friend is hysterically funny and you hang on every word and want to know when and where she is getting that fantastic haircut, what the weather is like, and what her kid said this morning over breakfast, change it to "All Updates".
- Unsubscribe from Kelly - basically, you have unfriended them without the pressure; your "friend" has no idea when this happens. You don't see their strangely offensive updates; this can always be changed back.
- Unsubscribe from PINK activity means that you will just unsubscribe to these type of posts
- Hide all from Exercise for PINK - if anyone posts anything from this site, it will hide it. This is helpful for all of those game updates.
- Unsubscribe from Comments and Likes by Kelly - There is one more option not on this view; if suddenly you are feeling like a stalker because every public post or like is being tracked, you can change this to "unsubscribe from comments and likes". This avoids seeing that your friend is now a big supporter of Amazon or loves tawny kittens. Some of my friends are brilliant and admittedly, I actually like following everything that they do-- yes, it is a little stalker-ish of me.
THREE -- I'm not sure why every so often, people feel the need to "clean up Facebook" but part of me fears it is because of all of the craziness that one often has to bog through in order to get to the information that want to see on a regular basis. If you clean up your facebook internally, it should avoid most of the drama of "unfriending" people.
FOUR -- Never post anything that you don't want your mom to see (that is a note for me, as soon as she signed up, I glanced through my timeline to see what I'd posted that might be offensive)... or basically anyone in the world. Even if you do a great job of setting your privacy correctly, this is not the place to bare you most vulnerable self. It will come back to haunt you. If you don't know how to set your privacy and notification settings, PLEASE ask the nearest 16 year old (or a friend). This is an important step and the defaults are not quite right.
As a side note: Unfortuantely, at the time of this post, you can only clean up on an actual computer. I can't get the initial change to work on the ipod or the iphone; the results will change on the ipod and iphone but you can't actually get this nifty little pop-up side bar. It doesn't take very long. Basically, just go through your news feed and switch the people or kinds of posts that you would like to.
And note to FaceBook -- I WISH that I could "unsubscribe to political rants" but alas, hopefully that will be in an update...
In the end, I think you will be much happier and enjoy reading through Facebook more often... and don't worry, I won't be offended when I am no longer in your daily feed. I know I post a lot. I often tease my DH that I am a stalkers dream...
SOOOOOO.... I've been blogging for a year, mostly for my friends and family. I think it is fun, so I decided to give my blog her own Facebook Page. I'm not trying to become famous or rich but if you like my blog and want to be notified when I write a new one or hear all sorts of crazy random "insight", I'll be posting that stuff on my FMC Facebook page.
again - HONESTLY, I am rarely annoyed by my FB friends. I actually really like stalking people's lives - but I know that is not always the case.
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