Going to the Chapel

10 - Regularly Recommitting to Marriage

I am officially in a stage of life where I appreciate the wedding ceremony more than the reception.  Now those people who have been at my table might beg to differ; I'm quite sure there are more than a couple of wedding videos out there that would confirm my overly good time at most receptions.  Let me clarify that I make sure to do my job as an attendee and enjoy the heck out of the celebration part of the wedding.  I get a sitter for the kids, eat gluten, drink wine, pleasantly gossip, and consistently work hand in hand with my sister in law to set up our adorable, funny, smart brother in law.  I do my fair share of laughing through (or at) the toasts (taking part in kind-hearted wagers on tears or embarrassing stories) and enjoy every bit of the dining, music, wine, and socializing, but I love the wedding ceremony...

Sick of SPAM (and winter)

The Miracle in a Can

I've been on a brief blogging hiatus, partly because I try to be a happy blogger and this never ending winter has been kind of a downer.  The other part is that becoming a consistent blogger comes with a cost that I was unaware of.  I've gotten a bazillion blog comments, mostly overly kind flattery, which to some may indicate a near viral style success... but I'm naturally wary.  I'll give you a couple of examples:

Better Together

9 - Emotional Intimacy & Individuality

We found these two trees while hiking in the mountains of Washington state.  They are by far the largest trees on this particular hike and reside on a bed of rocks at a very aggressive mountain stream.  A plaque told us that the entire forest was burnt to the ground at one point (a hundred years ago) but these two trees remained because of how close they were together and how close they were to water.   These trees were better and stronger together than apart.  

I don't really want to turn this into a sermon illustration, but every couple needs their own traditions, routines, and habits to form a strong emotional relationship that can withstand what the world will throw at it:

• Shows always watched together
• Friday Night Dates (with genuine listening & talking)
• Adventures together
• Certain sporting events or movies or games or concerts
• Family or charity work or projects
• Square Dancing, bowling, cards, or softball
• Breakfast at Tiffany's

These things give couples common ground and consistency but here is where this particular blogette becomes less about marriage and more about life.  I love how these particular trees garner strength as they grow side by side rather than entwined completely.  It is probably a little tricky to give each other encouragement and support, to grow side by side, but yet not grow apart (or choke each other) as each tries to reach for the sun and the water.  

Let's Spend the Night Together

8 - Physical Intimacy

(it isn't just for the weekend anymore)

At this point, if you haven't full on decided that marriage is just too much work (you shouldn't, these are just little suggestions to add from time to time -- personally, I wish someone would write one of these on how to groom ones-self as I have never really gotten past the shower / comb my hair step) and you are still reading, you are saying to yourself, "Kelly, this is all fine (albeit sappy and borderline sentimental), and I can see how it would make for a happier marriage but it will lead to... ideas.  And quite frankly, I am WAY too tired and stretched for any extra intimacy..."

Message in a Bottle

7 - Notes & Texting & IM

One tiny crazy little note can make someone feel special all day.  My DH taught me this a long long time ago; I have a box of them.  They would be passed to me from other people, I'd find them in my daily planners (which I carried everywhere), on a pizza box left in my car on days I worked late, mailed to my dorm room, stuck to the mirror / the fridge / the coffee maker, but it is much easier now a days...

The old-fashioned note is still sweet and endearing but occasional witty texts are wonderful and so simple.  Texting is life-changing and practical for orchestrating busy lives or who will pick up dinner/the carpool but it is just fun to send quick messages during the day (or even when together but at different ends of a party).  They don't need to be long or deep or symbolic.  It doesn't need to be a hundred times a day, just an occasional reminder that you are thinking of them: